flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unattached update Oh wow I haven't been here in ages. And I have posted in over six months. Damn. I decided to pop in cuz I'm curious about who's updating since it's been kind of dead from what I remembered and I see that one person to my surprise has updated. Not sure if I should ask to see it since I'm not part of his life but maybe I will later on. Or maybe it's because I'm not part of his life that he would say yes. I think I would anyway. But the guy I mentioned in my previous entry, he's not in my life anymore and I don't want him to. After 20 months of being exclusive and him sending me a text that said "we were never together" that definitely killed it. To be honest it should've died ages ago, in fact when I first broke it off my sophomore year. He's done good things for me for sure and he wasn't totally a bad guy. But I can't be with someone who wouldn't even talk to me about being in a relationship, or at least discuss our possible path. He always avoided it and it felt like I wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend. After so long.... that's such a stupid feeling. And so inaccurate. He would've been so lucky to have me. Any guy would. And that's why I won't be taking this crap with anyone else. If I don't see you at least once a month and it's certainly possible and within your power for us to meet then it's over. I don't want to feel lonely in ANY relationship. Romantic or friendly. That's so dumb and messed up. I really don't want to put up with that. And I'm scared that I'll feel that way again with someone I currently like and see. I get why he doesn't want to get in a relationship since he's busy with work and stuff. But to not want to get attached at all? And for him to claim that he cares about me? That sounds like complete bullshit. And he says that he doesn't want anything complicated. HAH. Then you shouldn't get with someone who you called complicated, dimwit. It's just a shame that this could end on such a bad note when I feel really open with him. To such an incredible and before, never obtainable, degree. But maybe I should try to see this through. All I know is whatever issues or something like that we have, we need to talk offline about and in person. I can't talk about these things online. So much miscommunication can happen and so little can be said and I need to see for myself if he's sincere about this. If he really wants to try. Because the desire of unattachment is not trying at all. And I don't know what the fuck he thinks I am if he thinks I'll swallow that shit. If it's not one guy, it's another. Right? eileen 8:34 pm - 01.22.12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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