flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- no crushes. just flings I'm happy. Really I am. It's weird.. I think i put too much affection or whatever on guys. like that saying... putting too many eggs in one basket. {is that how it goes?} who the fuck am i kidding? you'll never tell me. i doubt anyone is reading this. anyway. i want to tell you why i'm so happy. ok yesterday... i was so down... even though it was friday and my day off. the only thing that kept me happy was knowing that i was gonna eat breakfast... i normally would wake up too late for that... or was too lazy to try to get up in time.. and on thursday i didn't know that they didn't serve breakfast at 11AM (wtf?! it's still the AM..)... so i strolled over to birch and ate there. and let me tell you.. totally worth staying up all night for lol. i really want to eat breakfast everyday that i can. anyway.. back to my reason of happiness story... i brought my notebook and shit like my zen player because i know i won't be making many trips back and forth (like more than 2 lol). and the reason i had to bring my notebook was to obsserve people... i have to observe two people... it could be two seperate people.. or me and another person. and so i was in the atrium.. looking around.. and i realize that they were all boring to me. ok ... they may have an interesting conversation or whatever.. but they weren't standing out like i hope they would... i wasn't paying attention to any of them.. bored outta my skull... and kevin ... when i saw him... told me that i did look bored. he even pointed out to someone going up the stairs ... and said, "look he's gonna rob a bank.. and she's gonna help." lol.. which made me laugh and feel better. but it got so bad that i banged my head against the table... not giving a flying fuck who saw.. or cared. and i decided .. after much deliberation that i was gonna take out some lunch... because i figured i should head out because it was getting too much looking at these people.. and i didn't want to eat dinner there. and i went in and grabbed my container and i ran into tom. tom... as in the guy i told i had a crush on him... along with steve ... at the same time... lol. anyway we started to talk and i asked him if he was gonna eat with somebody and he said, "brian"-- his roomate/ cohost of his radio show... and i asked him if i could observe him .. and for him to camp it up and make it interesting lol. anyway we talked at the table a lot more.. and i told him how i never met brian and stuff... and i can't tell you what else happens except that brian called him up and tom waved him over there. and we did introductions .. and he recognized me as the girl who called with lisset... and we shook hands (*yay!!!) and i told him how i always wanted to say hi but i didn't think it'd be right because we were never ran into each other or "met" each other... and he laughed and said, "you should have." oh great... another damn regret. wait... before brian arrived.... Tom asked me what i was gonna do.. and i told him i was gonna watch battle royale.. and he said he got that from netflix.. and he sugguested that i go over his place to watch the movie together (!!!!!!!!) i was soo happy that i had to agree dammit. anyway... we three are sitting at the table and i told him what's up or .. maybe tom did... and i asked him what alias i should give them.. and they shot off some real randomn ones.. and i felt like getting up and telling you.. i would ... but not today... but probably later on today lol. anyway... i have to tell you... like when they talked it was like they've always known each other... i even asked if they did.. and they said no... and they said that someone else asked them the same question... they were so comfortable with each other and i was so jealous of them... i mean they were talking about the pencil i was holding (brian even touched my eraser and the yellow part of it<3)about how diconderonga or whatever is the best and that the pink one is better than all the others.. and they were talking about Tom's Canadian Cheese soup he was eating... like he was so impressed ... they were talking about the most mundane things and it came off as soo damn interesting!! it was entertaining and enthralling even... i laughed a lot during that time. i had to remain as an observer and so i didn't speak that much.. which worked well in my favor... i really wouldn't know what to say to them... and i'm still really shy and shit.. besides watching them was such a damn blast! anyway... there were some awkward pauses .. and tom would "play" the trumpet with his mouth ... and brian interjected a couple of sounds.. which made me laugh. and oh! brian was telling tom how he was talking to this girl in class... and he said that he and her were really into the conversation until he like blanked out.. so all he did was nod his head and go "uh huh uh huh" and did this thing with his eyes where they're all intense.. and it was soo hilarious.. like i laughed soo damn much! and like afterwards.. he'd look at me with nothing to say and i just laughed at him and said, "i'm sorry." and i hope he didn't need an explanation... i wasn't laughing at him.. just what he did .. he ... and tom of course.. made my day. and i realized that there were more pauses .. and i told them, "i shouldn't be keeping you guys from whatever.." or something like that ... and brian said, "actually i do have to do something." and so brian left ... and tom waited for me to gather shit... and we left... and i reminded him about the battle royale thing.. and he gave me his number ... and he said for me to call him before 9 to do it... and i was so happy then. and then... ultimately... he cancelled through text and said he can't watch it tonight. fukn arse. and he didn't give any indication that he wanted to watch with me later on this week. again... fukn arse. but at that point i didn't care... really ... cuz i received the text at 7:30PM and i was asleep and i just texted back and went back to sleep and wound up waking up at like 12:44 or something like that. and today... well... i went to brunch cuz of breakfast.. and i ate a lot... and mic came in and he sat with me... and whenever i talked to him he'd ask me about boys like: the last couple of times he saw me hang with arcival .. and he'd ALWAYS mention, "oh was that you're boyfriend?" or "how was your boyfriend?" he'd mention stoya or victor (i forget how we got into the topic of bulgarian boys ... and i STILL don't know that hottie's name lol... i looked it up one time and i forget haha... in fact i told him that lol). so after i denied that arcival was my guy i asked him, "do you really wanna know who i like?" "who?" "you're roommate-- tom." "what?!" "yeah... and i told him haha." "you don't do that." "i know.... and i told steve... at the same time... lol." "wow.. damn... that took courage..." like had this surprised look on his face.. and he'd say he'd never done that.. and he was like, "in the same room?" and i was like "yeah" and he was totally caught off guard about it. and i told him that i never told anyone that i liked them in person and since they were in the same room i might as well say it out loud them... and i even said.. like killing two birds with one stone. and he laughed at that. and i told him that i was like wondering what would happen if i did.. and i told him that he should try it and see what happens.. and he laughed at that too. i think he called me crazy. haha. and i told him about how me and tom were supposed to watch a movie yesterday but he cancelled on me and asked him if he would watch it with me.. and he said he can't today... like he had to do something... and he said for me to facebook him like 2-3 days before when i want to... and i will. the third time better be the charm... cuz i asked adam... and it never really panned out... and tom asked me... and that didn't went well.. and now mic.... this better go through well. actually this would be the fourth time.. i wanted to watch it with cris.. but that didn't pan out. so yeah.. this better work lol. and i will ask him to hang out.. on wednesday or thursday or something. he gave me good advice.. he told me to be friends first .. and never tell them that i like them lol. i guess i should've waited awhile and he asked if anything happenned and i told him that steve is gone and that tom well he's starting to talk to me more and more... and i asked him about the girls on campus and he said he has like ... 20. (lol) but they weren't crushes .. just flings.. i asked him i never really understood flings and he said that they were people that he wanted... and i told him that they were flings... tom and steve. and he said like with crushes their was emotion and feelings ... and i told him that i'm not attached to them. which is the truth. so yeah.. that's that. and i realized that i should hang out with guys more often. that maybe that's what i should've been doing. i never thought that guys would want to hang out with me... but they do apparently... and it's not one-sided. i always thought that mic was lying when he said that we should hang out... but now i think he's telling the truth. please don't prove me wrong man. and i want to do this ... a little bit ... just to make tom jealous... besides... mic is real cool... and kind of cooler than tom lol. and i'm starting to develop a fling for brian... he's so weird lol. and oh yeah... i have a fling for mic... he's so cute. i hope that everything this coming week will go alright.. and fun. i don't want to be sad anymore. eileen 1:10 am - 02.04.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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