flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i'm scared of nothing really i'm not scared really.. not right now anyway... whatever happens happens right? just need to let whatever has been holding me back .. whatever fuckn shitty thingy that has been bothering me up until now. it's roxanne and the fact were not talking. it's not so much that we're not talking that's bothering me.. it's the fact that it seems like she doesn't want to talk to me at all. now that's something pestlike... like when she was over here waiting for lisset to go to borders... i had to initiate the convo and keep it up... at least i was acting nice... ok.. i didn't mean it like that... i am nice... right? she fuckn pisses me off. but whatever... right now i feel lonely as hell... namely cuz my roommate is gone with her friend somewhere else... she didn't really try to include me at all.. which is understandable... because well... to be honest.. she needs to smpend as much time as posssible with her... they haven't seen each other in soo long... so yeah... i shouldn't be such a dumbass selfish inconsiderate bitch.. anyway... i just realized that i'm a bad friend... lisset just returned the dvd to jen right now... while cris had to wait like fuckn months to get his back... and he had to pick it up himself... if i was his real friend i would've watched it and droppped it off immediately. i feel like i should apologize for that... i'll facebook message him about it. fuckn static electricty... i'm so scared of it right now ... like for a long time actually... like everytime i go to touch metal.. which is practically everything... i tentatively go up to it.. and touch it with whatever i have... my sleeve... my slipper... a piece of clothing like a panty or a sweater... i waste sooo many seconds being scared.. it's really fucking ridiculous. like so what if i get shocked? it's a little pain... but it still do that... i mean.. i still do that... even if it only lasted for a second or so ... but fuck.. i'm still scared about it.. there's always that hesitation that i hate... it doesn't really happen that often... dammit. it's like getting scared of i don't know ... an accident? a crash? a bad man to come? a crush? a paper cut? whatever? it's gonna happen.. it's inevitable... but to be scared of it forever? that's whack man. total. anyway... i feel fine... maybe it's because i'm watching a great movie... good movies... but i have to start doing work... but fuck whatever man. i'm just gonna do it soon. hopefully i'll get a lot done. eileen 10:30 pm - 02.24.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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