flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary

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addressed to no one... i think

darling, you're matchless.
there's no one like you in the world.
not even you yesterday.

if i could say everything to you:
all the hopes i have for you
the dreams i want you to have
the futures i think you deserve
the loves, the precious ones, that will make you feel life over and over again.
the mistakes you're gonna make
and the deeds you'll be amazed that you made.

i probably would.

even if you won't believe me
even if you don't want to spend that much time with me to listen.
even if you don't like me enough to listen to me at all.

i'd still try to tell you anyway, because you deserve to know.

i want to protect you from everything
i hate to see you cry, even though i never saw

although a part of me wants to see you so vulnerable
because that's the way you leave me
open to be wounded
unshielded, unmasked
free to be tainted and harmed
poisoned and alarmed
... just used

and i swear, although you've never touched me,
never said one unkind word to me or in front of me
i feel like you've hurt me most of all

you've defeated expectations,
any eureka i had of you were just as soon dashed as the rate of my heart speeding up
when you are near me

with your wonderful eyes
scanning the room
and me
hoping they lay on top of me,
wishing that when they do,
you'll smile
because i'm there

but darling,
i smile for more reasons than that
when i grin at you

you have to see that
i have to tell you that

even if there's only one thing i can tell you

please don't think i don't love you
you have to see that i do

i don't even care if you don't love me back

i just want you to know
... you don't even have to accept it.

i prefer your ignorance over my ignorance of how you would react
if you only knew

i think i love you
i wonder if you're in love right now?

i hope so
even if it's not with me

take care of yourself darling

eileen

4:45 am - 03.21.07

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