flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a year ago this would be something i'd dream about so here i am. i got the book i ordered and the cd i wanted yesterday. made me so damn happy. but you know what? that initial excitement faded away... don't get me wrong... i loved the shit soo. but damn... they're mine now.. and you know that stupid feeling is gone ... the feeling of want and ish... it vanishes as soon as you have them in your possession. man... i wish it wasn't so. i still have to listen to the cd though. this weekend is gonna be the shit. i only have one thing ... okay maybe two things... that are important to do in mind. and one of them isn't trying to hang out with tom. i think i've given up on him and on other guys. i just don't see the point anymore... i mean i feel like they don't want to hangout with me at all. god i just want to be their friend... i hope they know that. but they probably think that i just want to get with them.. i really don't. ok... a little lie right there... i have thought about it before... but damn... i don't want to honestly... just corrupts everything. i just... i just want to be with a guy i like.. as in attracted to... to want to hang out with me. i want him to call me up and ask me to hang out with him. but i can't really do that... i don't want to be annoying or bothersome... i just don't want to be a creep or stalkery or whatever. i just don't want to try anymore... ok you know what.. this is my game plan: i'm still gonna say hi to them.. i'm still gonna try to let them know that we should hang out more.. and that i'm free lol. i don't know... i just hate feeling rejected and the rejected type. you know what? fuckit.... i just won't overdo it. i hate being worried over nothing and i feel like this is nothing. i just can't get too aggressive. i need a meter or something. eileen 5:38 am - 03.23.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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