flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there's so much more to worry about than what i'm going through ... i don't know what to think. what happened yesterday was a tragedy. it should never have happened. i don't know anyone who goes to Virginia Tech, but my heart goes out to them. I can only hope that the worst is over and that they'll recover the best they can. I think that if not all, at least most of us, were caught off guard by these events. Here I was thinking about how I was making my life worse and I discover there's so much more that I could do, that anyone could do, to make my life a true hell. My troubles are nothing compared to millions of people and they would kill to be in my position. I already wrote the apology letter to Joia about my stupid outburst and apologized to Roxanne. That letter I wrote to Kevin on his birthday -- very stupid I see but at least it was honest and I don't have to see him to begin with. The most he could ever do to me is think of me as creepy and delete me from his friend's list really. It's his perception of me that was affected only... at least that's what i think it was... and i don't ever want to try to affect how he feels for me. I never want to do that to anyone.. I think that's manipulative... that letter... it was just me trying to be honest... i should've been more simple with my words instead of confessing everything straight out. It was too much and so unexpected. I feel bad for him for getting that. I don't want him to be embarassed and i don't want him to feel bad if he dislikes me now. Here's the letter i should've written: actually... maybe i shouldn't have... just call his home phone really and talk to him that way. oh well. at least it's all out and i feel better. I know it was wrong of me to say all that.. too much for him to handle... but i'm so glad it's out of me. I'll do better on the next love letter. and the last trouble? my lack of doing work. which is just laziness and could be easily fixed to be honest. i have to stop being so foolish. it was just a letter and he could easily disregard it. i shouldn't let it distract me so much. i hope he tosses it aside and keep the money. the only thing i want for him to get out of that letter is that i wish we were better friends and that we were still friends. i just hope he's okay that's all. eileen 4:54 pm - 04.17.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||