flippantbebe's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- should i be upset or let it go? i think i'll just let it go like everything else soo.. i found out that my friend.. pearl..'s .. mother died... like a week ago. in fact... my family went to her wake/funeral on friday or on thursday. and i was told this by my brother. not my own mother. ...wtf!?!? ok. maybe she did told me... and i didn't hear it or was listening. i doubt it though... i think i would've listened to that ... especially something as important as that. maybe she thought i couldn't handle it? am i really that fragile? no. that shouldn't be the case... i don't think she thinks of me that way. too immature? i'm on the verge being 19.. a college freshman.. i just came home from dorming.. i think she knows that i'm mature enough to handle death... maybe she didn't want to distrub me about it? like since the wake and the funeral is over what's the point? i think this could be the most logical excuse i could think of ... since i did had finals during the week of her funeral... but i had those two days off... like i could've went... but i don't know.. i guess she wanted me to go on with life. but still.. it'd be nice if she bad told me... i didn't like the fact that ervin told me... at all. maybe she forgot? ...is it really possible that she forgot to tell me? could she have probably put that event so behind in her head that she thought she had told me? i have no clue. ervin is lying to me? even he's not a big enough asshole to do that to me. he deserves horrible things if that's true... well.. i'm not depressed.. a little saddened by her death though. and i'm pretty pissed at myself for not keeping better contact with pearl... i still haven't told her the whole story concerning steve and shit... i don't know.. i'm so bad when it comes to keeping in contact with people.... i should try harder... eileen 3:49 am - 05.15.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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